16. Girl. Surviving.
I don’t hate anyone.
At least… That’s what I’m trying to convince myself.
Hating someone takes time, takes energy. Worst of all, the person you hate doesn’t even know that you hate him/ her. So there’s really no point hating. You’re just wasting your own time.
But most of the time, you don’t choose whether or not to like or hate a person. It’s just an emotion, a feeling you get instantly or grows slowly in you. If might even be confusing- that you don’t want to hate that person but you really didn’t choose to.
Me? I try not to let words hurt me. I try not to let people hurt me. I try to lock myself up. I try to block everyone out.
But I can be easily broken. My shield is not strong, but weak without power nor strength.
I loved without a reason. I forgave without thinking. But over time, I changed.
I wonder about the people around me. Who’s real and who’s fake. Who are my real friends and who aren’t.
I found myself thinking differently than before. Finding myself annoyed by the things I once loved. I found beauty in a lot of things.
I no longer wait for the perfect guy. But try to improve myself. To attract better guys.
Because, really. What’s the beauty of something so perfect that it seems photoshopped?
Imperfection is beautiful.
Accept others for how they are.
You can’t change others, but you can change how you think.
Live your life. Make it beautiful.
"If you don’t make choices, the choices choose you."
Life’s not a movie. You will never have a happily ever after. Life would just push you down again and again. Life gives you challenges one after another.
I’m lost in its challenge. Already losing. Failing. But not giving up.
Why did life take away the guy I loved so much away from me? Then gave me one that I have no feelings for? Made me fall for the wrong guy. Then have my healing wound stretch open again?
Why is it so easy to love yet so hard to forget? Life gives you no pity. You’re on your own to do the best.
If only I’m in a movie. Let me be the most unpopular yet the most beautiful girl on set. Then here comes the hot guy. He looks at me. We fall in love. We have a fight. We breakup. Then the hot guy chases after me. We makeup. Get married. And have a happily ever after. The end.
If only. If only.
Life’s not a movie. Only you can make your life better. Make yourself shine from the crowd. Be loved by others. And have your own happily ever after.